Yet Another Unit Fic
by HolyRomanGermany
Summary: "I stood confused in front of a human sized, cardboard box that sat innocently in front of our door. 'What the hell'"


Author's Note:

HRG: Hello everybody~! AsianEmpire and I are back with another fic... even though we are still working on the other one.

AE: It's fine. We can handle making two fics. However, I'm slightly busy with school so I'll try my best to keep up with the pace, but , just saying, I'm not guaranteeing there'll be an update every week. So readers be patient.

HRG: Still, it's impressive that you wrote almost this entire chapter yourself! And in one night! ...I feel slow...

AE:...That, my friend, is called trying to find an excuse to procrastinate an English essay , Science project, History project, and math hw that's all due tomorrow. Well, the History project is due on Friday.

HRG: But still. That just makes me feel even slower... I barely get much homework at all... Anyways, as you could probably tell from the title, this story is a Unit fic. (as if there weren't enough of those already.) I'm not even sure why we made this in the first place... but it sure is fun!

AE: Yeah... *looks at piles of hw*...I am so going to be sleep deprived... Anyways, are you going to do the honors of saying the disclaimer, HolyRomanGermany?

HRG: Sure thing. Neither of us own Hetalia, a hospital, a zoo, "Koreanska Dramer" (to which there is a reference), or anything like that. We do, however, own Ren and Maxine (based on our future selves) and AsianEmpire _does_ have some medical knowledge.

AE: Some yes. But, I will be have medical knowledge in the near future. It should also be fairly easy to guess who owns which character in the story.

HRG: Well then, Hajimemashou!

* * *

Ren Park

* * *

Three surgeries, two patients, and three doctors to help with diagnosis to go. I dragged myself through the white maze of the hospital with a small stack of paper in front of me. I glanced at a round clock protruding from the milky white wall while I trudged passed it. 9:10am. I've been here for three hours and 40 minutes and have a grueling five hours and 50 more minutes to go. It was short and a slightly easy day, but the day dragged on like it would never end.

'Just when in heck is this going to end?' I thought as I reached my destination: a pathetic looking, plastic, blue box. Parts of the blue box were faded to a sky blue color, looking like a wet mark, and contained a small sea of paper, small, big, and even colored in disarray. This... was the shredder bin. It stuck out like a sore thumb as it sat on the shiny marble floor next to a extravagant three-legged table, whose legs almost seems to sprout out of the ground like vines, and carried on its head a delicate china vase that swallowed the stems of beautiful flowers in its round, hollow, stomach. However, nothing could be done about it until the new shredder machine comes in. If it wasn't for a certain fool who believed that an innocent machine could down three porn books in its throat all at the same time, the machine would never have been sent to an early death at the age of two, but now it will forever be tainted, even in death, by porn books.

I dropped the stack of papers, adding more paper into the already over bloated bin. Once the papers of patient information was placed in their little blue box of doom to be eradicated, I quickly paced down the marble path full of forks and multiple splitting paths with a left, left, right, left and another right, increasing my velocity with each step I took. I was to be performing a double lung transplant in eight minutes, next head straight for two surgeries for patients in need of a new pacemaker, and meet with 48 year old man who claims to be having trouble breathing, and finally take a look at a couple of patient documents that has yet to be diagnosed.

Sure, it may sound like a lot of work and a drag to do, but the complexity of the human body has never failed to fascinate me. My job wasn't what I disliked about working at the hospital, but it was just the annoying people I had to see everyday, the ridiculous time I would have to wake up and stay at work, and the fact that I'm being confined in a white building all day full of people all day. Also, it's hard to get motivated to do anything, especially if you're lazy and apathetic. However, once I got going, I would be motivated (somewhat) and do my work rigorously (maybe).

Two hours and 50 minutes later, it was finally my lunch break. In a flash, I went down the stairs, took a 2 lefts, a right, and finally reached a door. The door to my freedom. Not wanting to waste any of my precious time of freedom, the only time I got to be lazy during work, I ignored my whining stomach and sat at my usual spot, outside the hospital, in front of a wide, old, shady, tree. It was a nice place to be because almost nobody came here, and it was nice and quiet. I relaxed as I knew that I was far, far away from the population of annoying creatures and slid my hand into my pocket for my phone. 12:18 pm, the phone read.

'Hn... She should be in her lunch break right now.' I thought as I pressed call button. 'The question is now, will she answer or will she not?' I leaned my head toward the phone and listened to the phone purr repeatedly until it stopped midway abruptly on its third purr.

"_Hello?"_

"Imoto?"

"_Onee-chan!" _A bright voice sounded from the other end. _"Just in time! My lunch break started!"_

"Same here." I replied with a small smile. "So, how's work?"

"_Fine, just fine. We found out that Miki, one of our gray wolves, is expecting pups soon!"_

"Who's the father?"

"_Well, it's either Duke or Tristan. They are never too far from her at any time. But what about you? How's work going for you?"_

"Work has been... I guess okay. There's been less work than usual today, but we're still shredder less."

"_Any idea who the pervert that broke it was?"_

"I think it was that annoying guy with the really weird hairdo. I forgot his name, but I heard the other day that they confirmed it was him murdering the shredder with a security tape."

Maxine sighed. _"Why do people have to bring stuff like that into a _hospital?_ I mean, really!"_

"Apparently we live in a world where the majority of people have a this disease called idiocy where they're brain is suspended in an abyss of stupidity."

She laughed. _"Hehe! Yup, and nobody is safe from it, not even me!"_

"Indeed. It's amazing how we even get along so well. So, who's cooking dinner today?"

"_I'll do it," _she said. _"I was planning on making curry with chicken in it! Just like my dad used to make it."_

"Sounds good, as long as there's still hot sauce left in the fridge. Curry rice taste better with hot sauce after all. The more, the merrier."

"_But it's already the hot kind! Adding hot sauce is heresy to curry of all kinds!" _ there was a pause. _"Unless it's the really bland kind like I had at that one place. I don't really remember, but it was super runny." _

"There's no such law that says adding hot sauce to curry is a heresy. Besides my tongue is just unique. The hot kind tastes bland to my tongue."

I heard multiple, soft, clicking sounds from the other end of the phone. _"Hm?"_

"What're you doing?" I asked out of curiosity.

"_A popup just opened on my laptop. Let's see..."_

"Imoto, if it's something stupid then just exit out of it."

As if she hadn't heard me, she read it out loud. _"'Congratulations, you have won free Hetalia Units. They will be delivered to your house not long after you receive this message...'"_

"Imoto, what have you done...?" I asked in a slightly menacing voice.

"_I didn't do anything! I swear!"_

"That sure better be the case or else I'm banning you from eating stuffing for half a year." I threatened.

"_Fine!" _she shouted. _"I'll just eat bacon and curry and orange chicken! But I still didn't do anything!"_

I sighed. "Well I doubt it'll be anything serious... maybe. What the heck is a Hetalia Unit anyways?"

"_I dunno. It's probably nothing, though."_

"Well, if you say so. Although I probably shouldn't be taking your word... By the way what time are you getting home?"

"_Sometime around 5:30 or so. It depends on whether or not I need to do any of the locking up."_

"Hn... I guess I'll go stop by the store and get the ingredients for curry ready. Is there anything you want from there?"

"_Hmm... I'm not sure if we have any potatoes or carrots at home. We'll need some for the curry." _

"Okay, so it's potatoes, carrots, and hot sauce that we need."

"_Yup! Can you remember all that?"_

"Yeah, better than you can remember it"

"_Ouch," _she said, mocking a pained tone. _"That hurt! Ren, just because you think I don't know anything-" _

"I don't think so. I know so." I said bluntly.

Maxine sighed. _"Well, anyways, I'll see you at home?"_

"I'll see you home, second house from the left of the big pine tree. Can you remember that?"

"_I know where we live. I'm not Austria!"_

"Sure... Whatever floats your boat. Bye."

"_Jamata~!"_

With that, the call ended along with my lunch break. I thought back to what I still had to do left for work. I had to meet up with female patient who has proclaims that no matter how hard she tries, she can not eat due to the fact she vomits it out, always, and one more patient documents that needed to be diagnosed. As I reached the hospital, I realized that, where I had to meet the patient and where I had to go for the patient document were both on the opposite end of the hospital.

'Great, more exercise for me.' I sarcastically thought as I headed in a, somewhat, east direction. I reached out for the silver knob of a door, only to find my female patient inside. At first glance, I could see how malnourished her body was, and the exhaustion in her eyes that she has had enough of what she was going through, and just wanted to know what she had. As I sat down with her and gave her the regular check up, I realized her symptoms were quite odd. All of the tests she had took on her, stomach, colon and intestines all came out to be negative, yet she still could not eat. I started to believe that she might have rare syndrome called Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome and sent her for a upper gastrointestinal series.

With that done, I headed all the way towards the west side of the hospital for the last of what I had to do. While I meandered to my next destination, I saw the shredder murderer. He was talking nonstop about something my brain decided was not of any importance to a poor female nurse who just wanted to get on with her job. I inwardly shook my head and kept on putting one foot in front of the other.

As I groggily located my office chair, I pulled out the document that would spell my ticket out of the hospital. I opened the first document that belonged to an 82 year old woman who presented with a fever, diminished appetite and urinary incontinence for ten days. She also gave a history of lower back pain and difficulty ambulating after a fall three weeks ago. The presentation of this elderly lady was complex, combining both acute and subacute problems. Her tests have finally came in, and I could finally start working out a diagnosis for her.

Her chest x-ray and urinalysis were normal, meaning I could exclude hypostatic pneumonia and the possibility of a urinary tract infection. In addition, the full blood count showed a profound neutrophil leukocytosis, indicating that an infection was almost certainly present. Then, the MRI of her spine indicated that the T12 vertebrae has a wedge fracture and has signs of osteomyelitis. With this I could conclude she had spinal epidural abscess.

I dropped my black pen onto my desk and stretched myself out on my black swivel chair with a sigh of relief. Now, the only thing left to do was to call Dr. Smith and leave the document on his desk. I reached for the black phone that laid on my desk and held it to my ear as I dialed his number. However, he never picked up his phone so, I left him a short message that I had figured out what his patient's diagnosis was and would leave their document on his desk. With that, I hung the phone back onto onto its place on my desk, and left the document on his desk.

3:08 pm was what the clock protruding from the milky white wall read. Right, right, left, right, straight, left, straight, right, and another left. I found myself in front of two large, glass, sliding doors that happily opened itself up to me, and the air came rushing towards me to eagerly greet me. My feet plunged down into the black pavement and directed me to my dark blue car. I gratefully unlocked my car and started the engine. The car sprang to life and and and the engine wouldn't shut up, as if it was begging me to drive. I slid my white coat off my shoulders, placing it next to me on the front passenger seat, and buckled my seatbelt.

4:27 pm my phone gently glowed to me. I grabbed the three plastic bag containing today's dinner, and headed back to my car. The sun shined brightly in my face greeting me with warm temperatures. It was still spring, but it was soon ending and starting to transition to summer. 'Better get ready for the mosquitos.' I thought glumly to myself as I started to enter the busy highway. Seeing how bad the traffic was because of road construction, and the possibility of a train passing by, I knew that it may take a while to get back home. 'an hour?' I estimated.

5:31 pm, or so the blaring red numbers on my car told me. I smiled as I started to see the familiar pink bricks of our house starting to protrude into my field of vision. However, that smile quickly disappeared as I saw a large rectangular prism made out of cardboard in front of our door.

5:35 pm, I stood confused in front of a human sized, cardboard, box that sat in front of our front door, innocently towering over me.

"What the hell?"


End file.
